As mothers, it is our naturally instinct to protect, provide, and comfort our children. We want to make sure that our children know that no matter what, we are here for them. Mothers are natural born fighters. And we are willing to come against anyone or anything that tries to hurt our children, whether it's physically, emotionally, or verbally. Bottomline, you don't mess with our kids. If you have a problem with our children, then you have a problem with us. We are like lionesses protecting their cubs.
But, what if a mother's primary fight is not only for her children, but for her health? We are talking about mothers who have been healthy all their lives only to have it compromised. Mothers whose primary concerns included dinner for the family, fixing their children's school lunches, making sure laundry is done, preparing dinner, carpooling, and so, much, much more. So, what happens when a monkey wrench called cancer has been thrown into your best laid plans?? Whereas, your fight is no longer just about getting everything done on the to-do list, making sure your children are taking care of, or getting off of work in time for child's little league game, but for health.
I know someone who can answer this question. Her name is Tilease Jenkins, whom I have called my sister from day one. In February 2012, she was diagnosis with breast cancer. Right now, she is in the process of doing chemo. She is a hard working woman of God, who will be there for you whenever you called. She loves her family immensely. After God, they are her top priority. I ask Tilease to write about what is it like as a mother to fight for her health and to be their for her children. I wanted her to share a little bit of her story. And this is what she had to say:
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the Day of Love. You’re supposed to be figuring out new and romantic ways to show the one you love just how much you love them. You’re supposed to be looking for that perfect gift that doesn’t come across as last minute and cliché. I, however, spent my Valentine’s Day this year at Charleston Breast Center. I remembered the doctor coming in after my ultrasound telling me that what they saw didn’t look good and she wanted to do a biopsy right then. I remembered looking at the clock and asking how long it would take and the doctor telling me about 1.5 – 2 hours.
I had to find someone to pick up my children from school. My mom was in Beaufort and my husband was at work. Then, right there on the table, I burst out into tears. Not because of the possibility of having breast cancer, but because of the possibility of not being able to take care of my children. Here I was sitting on an exam table faced with the dilemma that where I was and what I had to do was going to prevent me from providing a need for my children. It was MY responsibility that day to get them from school and I was not going to be able to do it.
Now, I know you may say that my health should’ve been my first priority, but as a mom, it never is. As a mom, I put the needs of my children before me, even as a sat on an exam table waiting to have a biopsy done. Don’t get me wrong, I had the biopsy done and I found someone to pick my children up from school. But the truth of the matter is that I was more worried about not being able to care for them than I was about the results from the biopsy. Well, two days later, I got a phone call from my doctor asking my husband and I to come in. When we get there, the doctor comes in, who is very straightforward, and says, “You have breast cancer!” Afterwards she apologized for 20 minutes.
Once it sank in and the crying was over, the doctor says to me, “What can I do for you now?” My answer to her was simple, “I need to know what the next step is, because I have to be able to sit my children down and tell them what’s going on and what the game plan is going to be!” I’ll deal with how I feel about it later. I need to make sure they are going to be ok and put things in place for them. Even through all of that, the needs of my children were greater than what I was currently having to process.
What is it that makes me put the concerns and needs of my children before my own? I would say that it was the way God designed me. As I go through chemotherapy and deal with the effects of breast cancer, one of the things that keep me going is the need to be able to care for my children as much as I physically can. I still have the desire to meet their needs. I still have the desire to be there for them physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I still have the desire to be their protector and go out and fight for them when they’re not able to fight for themselves. I am still their mom. So, I take care of me, so that I can take care of them. They are my gifts from God. They were assigned to me to love, care for, cherish, teach, discipline, and show them God in action. I take that job seriously; And I will do what I need to do to make sure that they are taken care for. The reward is unmeasurable.
I care for myself, because I have to be able to care for them.
Written by: Tilease Jenkins
Tilease is a wife, a mother of 2, and like most of us, wear many hats. We thank you so much for sharing with us. We know that in the name of Jesus, Tilease has the victory over breast cancer. By His stripes, she is healed!! I pray that this post is a blessing to you. To all mother's no matter what you are going through, stand and fight. Fight the good fight of faith. In Christ Jesus, we are more than conquerors. And we have the victory!! Hallelujah and Amen!!
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