Marriage Monday: Marriage for Holiness or Happiness

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Then the crowd goes, "Aaah."



After all that is said and done. It's time to live happily ever after. But there's a catch. There has to be a balance. Let me explain. The topic is "Marriage for Holiness or Happiness."



My response is......It has to be both Holiness and Happiness. This is where everything must balance out. You can't have Happiness without Holiness. And you can't have Holiness without Happiness.



According to the Webster's dictionary, Holiness means the quality of being holy, (sacred, having a divine quality, sanctified, consecrated, pure, clean)



Now let's look at happiness. Happiness is the state of being of happy (fortunate, enjoying well-neing and contentment, pleasant, cheerful, lighthearted, joyous.





When it's time to get married, I believe God doesn't want us to choose between happiness and holiness. He wants us to come into holy matrimony with both. When a man and a woman are both Christians with an intimate relationship with God, they are automatically bringing holiness into the marriage, along with that happiness. Reason being because of the man and woman's relationship with God, they are able to listen to God's voice and allow Him to find and choose their mate and bring them together as one.



"What God has brought together let no man separate" (Matthew 19:6). The holiness side is letting God bring you and your mate together. The happiness side is knowing that once you are one with your mate, no one, not even the devil in hell, can tear you apart from each other. Once again, there has to be a balance.



Having your marital foundation planted on the word of God brings both holiness and happines within your marriage. This is because the bible tells you how to be a loving wife and a help mate for your husband. On the other hand, it tells and teach your husband how to love you as Christ loves the church. When you focus on God and on His word, it will be very hard to become distracted by things and people who can put a crack in your marital foundation. As a result, knowing you and your mate are focus on the word, caring for each other, loving each other, you have no choice, but to be happy and bless.



Holiness and happiness are what make a marriage strong. This strength is much needed because when oppositions come your way and try to destroy your marriage, you will have the word of God and the memories of all the happy times shared to overcome the not-so-good times.



Now if you happen to have married for holiness and don't feel the that fulfillment of joy your are suppose to have in your marriage, it's not too late. You have to look past the sadness you feel in your heart and look to God for answers and instructions on how you can become happy with your marriage. God wants you to be happy. He doesn't desire you to be unhappy. Most importantly, even though you are feeling unhappy, that doesn't not mean you have to sacrifice being holy for the sake of happiness. Sacrificing the state of being holy for the quick fix for happiness will only lead to more strife, eventually destruction. "There's a way that seems right to a man (or woman), but it's end is the way of death" (Proverbs 14:12). Let God make you happy in your marriage.



For those of you who have gotten married for happiness only, please make it your business to strive to be holy. Having your marriage built on the foundation called happiness is like the foolish man in the bible who built his house on sand. The rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew (which symbolizes oppositions, struggles, hard times) and beat on the house and it fell. And great was its fall (Matthew 7:26-27). Don't let just being happy catch you off guard from satan's attacks. Happiness is not a shield of protection from the devil, but holiness is. You can't tapped into happiness so that you can stopped the devil from destroying your marriage. However, you can tap into holiness, (the word of God, praise & worshipping, fasting, praying, the power of the Holy Spirit) and you use your spiritual weapons to fight that devil off with everything you got.



In conclusion, I pray that all married couples find balance within their marriages. Maintain that balance of happiness and holiness. For those who have one without the other, let your prayer be that you can acquire the missing link in your marriage so that you can have balance. Don't give up. God will be with you always.

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Your Sister in Christ,

Toia